Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
