He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
His hands were made for my vagina.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
