Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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