The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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