So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
