Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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