But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I need a burrito and a hug.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
