Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
