how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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