Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
