please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
