What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
COCAINE IS GR8
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
