But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
