we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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