What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
