your room smells of hookers.
And success
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
