It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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