We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
