He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
