Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
