bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
