I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
