forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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