See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
