Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
