Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
