Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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