i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
