Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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