I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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