She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Who died my cat blue again?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
