she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
