Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Im part way to drunk.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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