she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
