If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
