ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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