just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
