There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
