Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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