she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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