She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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