what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
