Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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