do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
