i would punch a child for taco bell
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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