Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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