Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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