she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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