So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
