She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
