His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
