That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
