is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
